The Frog Bog

Given the fact that I receive hundreds of thousands of emails every day about this site, I figured I’d post some of the most commonly asked questions here, because we don’t inherit bandspace from our grandparents, we borrow it from our children.

Q. You are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny! OMG it’s like you’re a comic genius! LOLOLOLOL! Where do you get your ideas?

A. If I don’t keep laughing on the outside, I may start crying on the inside.

Q. You are the sexiest man on the internet!!!! Wow, you are hot!!!!! What are you doing this weekend?

A. I get more emails like this, I swear. Look, if you read the posts you’ll see that I’m happily married. I appreciate the compliment, but you’ll just have to settle for George Clooney.

Q. Any advice on how to get started blogging?

A. First, you’ll have to register with BLECH (the BLoggers, Etc. Community Hegemony). Entry fees are $695.83. If you send it to me, I’ll be sure it gets to the right people.

Q. Isn’t it true that you just write these questions yourself to try to be funny and make yourself look good when you can’t think of anything else to write about?

A. That is the most half-witted, repulsive, unfounded accusation I’ve ever heard! What kind of sniveling worm would stoop to those depths? The day that I lower myself to adding a page to my blog to make it look bigger than it really is and to illicit a cheap laugh is the day I’ll stop blogging and