The Frog Bog

As you are probably well aware, on Saturday the 2nd, Punxsutawney Phil, the most famous groundhog of all time, emerged from his burrow at Gobbler’s Knob around 7:25 am and saw his shadow.   This means there will be six more weeks of winter. 

The gate to Gobbler’s Knob, in case you’re interested, opened at 3 am for interested parties.  Three-ay-em. Yikes. What kind of people get in line at 3 am to watch a rodent look for his shadow?  Actually, I would have gone, if Punxsutawney was within an hour or two of our place.  Turns out, however, that it’s located closer to Pittsburgh than Philadelphia.  Anyway, Phil has prognosticated a long winter this year, which should make those of you who have the best snow scraper of all time quite happy.

Saturday was a bittersweet day for Phil, because in a related story, a Federal investigation culminated in the arrest of four groundhogs from the Punxsutawney area.  Punxsutawney Paul, Punxsutawney Peter, Punxsutawney Parker and Punxsutawney Esteban, all relatives of Phil, were charged, under The Federal RICO statute, with conspiracy and an attempted terrorist act.

The four were found in a burrow in nearby Walston with a pair of theatre spotlights. Details are still murky, but it is believed that they were jealous of Phil’s fame.  Their apparent plan was to blind Phil so he could not see his shadow.  According to the official Groundhog Day Website, Phil has never made a false prediction, so an inaccurate prediction would have had a devastating impact on Phil’s financial and professional well-being.

“I just go out there and give 110 percent,” said an exhausted Phil after his prediction.  “I mean, I know if I bring my A-game and take care of business the way I know how, I can handle any prediction.”  When asked about the arrest of his relatives, Phil said that he “Had been hanging out with a new group of more positive groundhogs” and he “Doesn’t have any time for groundhogs hating on him for just doing his thing.”  Phil claimed he bought the Walston burrow for his cousin, but denied ever having visited.

In other news, FOX is in negotiations with the four groundhogs’ lawyer about TV movie rights.  The early gossip is that the group is hoping to land Charlotte the Spider to write the screenplay, but her partner Wilbur is concerned that by crossing the WGA picket line she will be putting herself in harm’s way and he could, even after all his success, wind up as bacon.

humor-blogs.com is always awake at 3 am.

Police nab pairs of plotters pinned with proposed pillaging of Punxsutawney’s pride